Snooky Answers Your Letters

Dear Snooky

I am a 42-year-old black woman with one hell of a sex drive.  I know this because I have had this sex drive since I was 15 years old and it only improves with age.  Me and my 34-year-old (southern boy) husband have been married for 9 years.  He says that I wear him out and with my constant “demands” for sex (I only want it once a day and twice on Saturdays and Sundays).  I will actually just settle for 4 days a week and once on Saturday and Sunday, but he can only handle 3 days a week once on weekends (he works 2 jobs).  He knew this coming into the relationship but he expected my “drive” to weaken the older I get.  The problem is, I may get older chronologically, but not physically or sexually.  I look like I am 25 years old and have a damn good body.  I am too much woman for him, he says.  What should I do Snooky?  I love my husband so much my heart aches.  He still makes my knees weak and people are always amazed at the obvious sexual charge between us when we are in public.  Also, he is damn good in bed (we are damn good in bed) orgasms guaranteed.  But for me it is never enough.  What can I do?  My trigger finger stays busy.  It’s so untrue that men want it more than women.  Men set themselves up for this.

Happily Married But Sexually Deprived

Seattle, Washington

Dear Happily Married But Sexually Deprived:

I think I love you.  Wow!  Seriously, I kind of know how your husband feels.  I dated a woman once who was six years older than I was and had a sex drive similar to yours.  However, in my case it didn’t cause any problems because I loved it.  There was chemistry and whenever we were in a room everyone knew that there was something strong between us.  I can see where this would be frustrating for you.  I get the sense that you have tried talking this thing out and talking is no substitute for good sex.  I would not advocate or suggest that you try and satisfy your needs outside of the marriage.  Many people do this and things appear to work out, however, the odds say that this is not the way to go.  Based on your description you love this man.  That comes through loud and clear.  I don’t want to get too personal, but I must ask a couple of more questions.  Have you tried self-satisfaction to hold you over until your husband recovers?  What about pleasure tools and devices?  Perhaps your husband can get creative and let his tongue do the talking and carry some of the load.  I get the sense that you are willing to experiment and try new things when it comes to sexual satisfaction.  Most guys will read your letter and wish they had a woman who couldn’t get enough sex.  I know one thing.  If you were my woman, your letter would read as follows:

“Dear Snooky:

My man is wearing my ass out.  He has a white-collar job, but when it comes to pleasing me, he brings his lunch pail and his thermos.  His ass comes to work—and work he does.  He drills me like a jackhammer and then flips me four ways from Sunday.  I start to stutter when I think about that tongue of his.  What’s a woman to do?”

Signed,

Can Hardly Walk Or Wait

It sounds like you have a good man.  Remember, your man is working two jobs.  You need to be a little more thoughtful and considerate.  You probably already know this.  It’s your body and that strong sex drive that’s doing all of the talking.  Hopefully, some advice will come your way.  Good luck.

Dear Snooky:

My boss is pressuring me for sex.  She’s 47, fat and overweight with a cute face, not that that means anything.  I’m 26 and in good shape.  I don’t want to get with her.  She grabbed my ass at the vending machine and complimented me on my jeans.  She told me that if I stayed late at night and worked with her she could see to it that I have a bright future with the company.  Snooky, I’m about the work.  I don’t want to get busy with her, but I’m afraid that she’ll make life rough for me.  Help!

Bo

West, VA

Yo Bo:

This is a serious matter.  You should not have to deal with this kind of pressure at work.  Tell your boss that you think she’s hitting on you and you are uncomfortable with what you see as her pressuring you.  If your company has a policy on harassment, read it and become familiar with your rights as an employee.  You don’t have to make a federal case out of this situation.  Your goal is to get the behavior to STOP!

Snooky

Hi Snooky,
I am a single, twenty-something woman who has been having a sexual relationship with a man that I’ve known for almost a year now. The sex is awesome and I really dig his personality, the only problem is that he only sees me when he wants sex. We talk over the phone often but we never go out on dates or just spend time together doing anything that isn’t sexual. I can’t blame him for viewing me this way because after all I did give it up on our first (and only) date and every since that
first date he only sees me for booty calls. I’m torn because I really want more from this relationship but I don’t know how to go about telling him.

I already know that once a man sees a woman as only good enough to see every once in a while for sex it’s difficult to get him to look at her any other way per the old saying “You can’t turn a hoe into a housewife”. I have already refused the last couple of booty calls that I received from him hoping that would be the first step to letting him know that I want more than that. Snooky, how should I approach this man to let him know my true feelings? Do you think there’s any hope for a romantic, committed relationship or should I just move on? My body is telling me to stay but my heart is telling me that nothing will prosper from this and to leave him alone once and for all. What do you think?

Tasha, Brooklyn, NY

Tasha don’t listen to your body, listen to your mind.  You are obviously well spoken and I get the sense that you are very fine.  When you’ve been around as long as I have, you can pick out who is fine and who has “Grade A” stuff (if you know what I mean).  There is no doubt in my mind young lady that you have the right stuff.  Now let’s get to the matter at hand.

What were you thinking to give it up on the first date?  If this guy
had any kind of potential as a mate, you ruined it by giving him that good
stuff of yours so soon.  Now all you have is a “fuck buddy” and you’re “stuck like Chuck” in a one dimensional relationship.

Good for you for not giving in to these recent booty calls but I’m afraid its too late.  There is very little reason for “boyfriend” uh er “fuck buddy” to change.  It’s not impossible, but it’s highly unlikely that he will change.  It’s a shame because you seem to be well rounded and have a lot on the ball.

Now let’s look at the other side of this coin.  What would brother man say about this relationship?  When you give it up the first night you have freak written all over you.  I’m sure you served it up too.

Good pussy comes with a price.  This is where we men get tripped up.  We can’t seem to get away from good stuff.  One of my fellow taxi buddies (White Boy Steve) has a saying that rings true.  He’s always saying:  “Snooky, I don’t want no pussy that good.”

You need to sit brother man down and tell him that you want a real relationship.  Define for him what that means.  In fact you may want to highlight what a real date consists of (don’t assume anything).  Be real clear about what your needs are or they won’t get met.

Understand this young lady:  You’re not the only woman giving it up on the first date–and that’s the problem.  Relationships function like the economy, in that they rely on supply side economics.  If you cut him off, he’ll find another supplier.  Your stuff may be good and you may know how to serve it up, but to a man there’s no such thing as bad pussy.  It’s all good!  Some is just better than others.  There’s plenty more where that came from.  Your only hope is to have some good stuff, serve it up often and not be crazy.

What have we learned today boys and girls?  Answer:  Most of the freaks out here are crazy.  If you’re not crazy, you have a slim chance.  How slim you ask?  The same odds of me surviving walking in a lion’s den with greasy pork chop underwear.

I hate to be so graphic, but I really love my sisters.  I want you to hear the real deal so you can make the necessary adjustments.  Follow your heart and be prepared to move on without him.  You won’t be sorry.  You’re short changing yourself when you feel that you have to give it up on the first date.  You’re better than that.  Let me know how things turn out.

Snooky

Snooky,

I have a 51-year old – new, Asian wife (very sexy for her age).  Here’s my dilemma.  I have never made love to a woman that gets as wet as she does. When I am inside her, I can clearly hear her moisture going “Squish, Squish.”

I mean its really, really wet down there. I have previously made love to women that get moist on a normal level, but I have never seen anything like this.

Anyway, it turns me on to love my wife and I want to ask her, why she gets so wet down there, but I don’t want her to become shy and get tense during our love-making.  I’m wondering is this normal or what!!! Can you answer that?

Last question……

I am 38 year old, but when I was a younger man and I released my sperm during an orgasm, it would be so powerful, I could darn-near shoot it across the room, almost like urine. Then all of a sudden, it stopped!!!  Just like that, there’s just gushing with no power.  I can’t explain what happened since that day.  Can you?

Thanks much, holla……….”E”

Dear “E”:

TMI!  TMI!  (Too Much Information).  Whoa!  Look here.  Some women are like spare ribs.  You got your wet ribs and your dry ribs. One rib is not any better than the other–they’re just different.  With your dry rib, you have to put your own sauce on it to make it moist.  The wet ribs are so moist and tender that you end up wearing a bib because they’re so juicy.  Same thing in your case.  There’s nothing wrong brother!  Congratulations!  You’re married to a rack of wet ribs.  Get your rain slicker, your duck shoes and just continue to “aqua boogie.”  Whatever you do, don’t slip and fall with all that fluid over there.  As far as asking her why she gets wet.  Why?  Leave it alone.  You’ve got a rack of slow cooked and aged (51-year old) wet ribs!  Be happy.

Now regarding your second question about your “Super Soaker” gushing orgasms, I wouldn’t worry about it.  Be glad that you can get it up, get it going and get it right!  This ain’t target practice.  I can’t explain it.  Just handle your business.

Snooky