I Got A Younger Man Who Won’t Leave Me Alone

Hi Snooky:

It has been several years since I have used your advice – which by the way was helpful.  Now I need you again. I am currently 43 years old, divorced, not rich and I have one terrific teenage son.  Reality is setting in for me.  In the next five years or so, my son will be off to college.

Fear of being alone, I started looking for a cuddly companion, preferably a guy around my age or just a little bit older who is established, been married before, who’s kid(s) are grown and who’s just looking for a part-time companion.

However, I came across someone way younger.  This guy is 28-years old.  Really mature; but just beginning to really start his life.

When, I told my girl friends about his age, they said to me, “Yippee! U go Cougar, use that Black Stallion!”

So I had some fun with him, and I thought it would be over quickly and we would go our separate ways.  However, this guy does not wish to go away.  He wants to stick around.

What for?  He is very intelligent, he has a college degree from Morehouse and is a Reservist in the Marines.  On top of that he has a law degree and recently passed the bar exam. Did I mention that he is an incredibly decent guy?

I have hinted to him over and over; that he should go out and social network, focus on his career, find the woman of his dreams, get married and start his own family.  Snooky, my factory been shut down!  No more babies coming through me.  Chuckling.

Also, I really don’t want to be bothered with a younger man.  He’s 28 and I am 43 years old.  I do not look like I am 43 years old, nor do I, dress or act very young.  But he was surprised about my age.

Here is how we met.  About a month ago, we met while I was on my lunch break.  I did flirt with him first.  He took my number.  We talked on the phone a lot, and then after three weeks, we finally had a nice date, watching the sunset go down, with wine and kibbles.  I have no doubt the wine relaxed us and before we knew it, we ended up in a hotel having crazy wild sex.

The next morning, no remorse, no shame, the understanding between us, was that it was just a one night stand.  Which was fine me.

Two days later after our date, he kept texting and calling me, till I picked up the phone.  He said that he missed me, I was different, and that he would like to taste more of me (blah, blah, blah).

I thought what he said was ALL cute, but I brushed him off hoping he would get the hint.  Well he refused to understand.  So I reminded him, what we talked about when we last departed.  He pretended he did not remember, but what he did remember how I was so wet and how my body responded to his manhood, along with his kisses and touches.

Yes Snooky, all of that is true.  But mentally, I was not there.  Not the way, he wanted me to be.  I know this sounds mean, but Snooky, it was strictly just for some quick hot sex.

Snooky, what can I tell this young man, without breaking his heart?  That I do not, want a sexual relationship with him, I only want friendship.

Thanks!

Nothing Permanent

 

Dear Nothing Permanent:

It looks like you clearly “put somethin’ on this young pup.  Damn, you broke a Marine down like that?  Whew!  You got something special woman.  What can you do?  If you really aren’t feeling the young fella, then stick your guns and be consistent.  Do not see him again.  He can’t handle it and you don’t want him.  You make some very good points about the age gap and lack of interest in a man that young.  Poor fella, you got him strung out over some obviously pretty good stuff.  Hmmm.  What part of the country do you live?  OK, don’t tell me.  I don’t need you turning me out.  Be nice to him, but be firm and consistent.  He will eventually get the message.